Perception

We've all had that experience where we meet our friend's parents for the first time. Worried about the perception we carry, and whether or not we'll be deemed good enough for their children. I've always been very conscious of the way I present myself in front of people's parents. The most recent time I met someone's parents they texted me afterwards saying that their dad thought I was very mature. The image I carry around people's parents is a very sanitized version of myself- a mature 17-year-old, who loves school. One with straight A's and who has definitely never made a bad decision before in her life. There are multiple reasons I carry this image some based in insecurity and some based in practicality. My best friend’s parents see me as very mature and responsible (in both street and book smarts) so much so that they trust me to take their daughter to stores in their area and cross very busy roads without adult supervision. I've found that portraying the image of a much more grown person than I actually am allows for more freedom. It allows me to stay late after school with my friends, walking from store to store when their parents typically wouldn’t let them cross the road without supervision. The other part of portraying this image is based in the fear of not being deemed good enough to spend time with their kids. Having been incredibly isolated all throughout elementary school due to bullying, I've always been scared of not being good enough for my friends. The fear that at any moment friendship can be taken away. The perception parents have of me acts like a safety net. If they see me as a perfect kid then they're more likely to still support me if it comes out that I'm not perfect because (newsflash) I’m not perfect.



The perception of who I am as a person stems from multiple different things. One being the way I dress, the other being the way I speak. This year I haven't been dressing the way I used to. I used to exclusively wear dress shirts and blouses (yes, even to school). But the way I speak around parents is definitely something I spend a lot of time thinking about. Whether it be giving proper pleasantries or thanking them profusely for giving me a ride. There are many small things that I'm conscious of to make sure the image I carry is pristine. I make sure to answer all their questions most eloquently and end each statement with a question so it seems as though I am capable of both responding and continuing the conversation on my own. If I find out they work in engineering I ask what kind of projects they're working on. If I find out they're in school still I ask what field their PhD is in and furthermore what their thesis is. The perception of age and maturity through speech is a delicate dance, one that I've learned to balance.