Expectations
Write a personal narrative in which you describe a role that your family or friends expected of you but that you either refuse to play or struggle against. Explain the origin and nature of the expectation as well as your reasons for not wanting to fulfill it include a discussion of the reactions you've gotten as you challenge the role or expectation.
I originally chose this prompt to answer for English class on Wednesday; however, I'm going to rewrite the whole thing and change the expectation I write about.
Starting from a very young age I have been fiercely independent. From making my breakfast all by myself when I was six, to babysitting my 4-year-old brother when I was nine, to walking two hours home from school I’ve always strived to be self-sufficient. Throughout my life, this independence has led to me being self-reliant and hesitant to ask for help. A little more than a year ago my brain decided it would stop functioning properly. I started having seizure-esk episodes multiple times a day. They left me exhausted, sore, and confused. For large portions of my day, I would be unable to move my body let alone communicate. I went through much of my day confused and unable to recall basic events and conversations. Everything turned into a fog. Within 24 hours my independence was taken away from me. People stopped letting me stay alone after school, I would always have one friend with me. There were days when I couldn't take the bus home because I couldn't walk from the bus stop to my home safely. I’d have to wait till my friends finished taking their tests after school and ride home with their parents. I went from being able to walk home two hours away to not being able to walk for 2 minutes without supervision. From being trusted with someone else's life to not being trusted with my own life for 15 minutes. The expectation I had set for myself -reinforced by others- of independence was diminished. No matter how much I strive to meet these expectations I no longer can. I’ve done my best to hide my struggles from my family and that has left them unable to understand why I do the things I do. My increased sleeping needs and reduced energy have been chalked up to laziness. Very few people know how much this change has truly effected me. My unwillingness to ask for help and let people know I need help has left me unable to even attempt to reach the expectations that have been placed on me. I'm stuck in a limbo between what was expected of me and what I'm currently capable of doing.
I really like how you turned the question into an expectation that you set for yourself, also I think you explained how it is still active in your life very well.
ReplyDeleteThis is Kian.
DeleteJust as the last comment mentioned, your discussion of self-expectations were extremely eye opening. I think with the word expectation we immediately assume it’s the fault of someone else- but our own thoughts can also be just as (if not more) detrimental to our lives- Arya :)
ReplyDeleteI found it extremely unique how rather than talking about someone else, you talked about it within you. I don't think it's that common to ponder upon the expectations we place on ourselves. I also liked you you used the word "expect" many times and the deliberate word choice :)
ReplyDeleteYour writing style in describing your struggles is beautiful and harmonious, and I especially liked the wording at the end where you said you're in a limbo. Suddenly having your whole life change must be very hard, I'm sorry you had to go through that :(
ReplyDeleteExpectations are tricky things, and people often forget that life is hard. Love and rickrolls ease the burden.
ReplyDelete